Mocks Anxiety

Hello,

Times are busy. I did an open evening Wednesday, Drama performance Thursday and night out Friday. I have a mock on the 23rd this month then the rest are from the 4th of December until the 15th-ish.

This means I have been busy but my moods have been low and my productivity has been lessened. I also find I keep changing my mind about things quickly when deciding A-Level options and what to take. I’m currently considering Drama, English Lit and History at another place. I love taking art but I feel that I am not good enough for my school’s standards and I am on a grade 7 (A) but I am still going to compulsory intervention.

Since my performance on Thursday I have considered taking drama further and having as part of a career because the buzz you feel during and after a performance is amazing and delightful. The feedback you get afterwards makes you feel good about yourself and it is a way to prove yourself to people that “I can do something”.

English Lit is something I have always wanted to do, I think I’m good at it, I get 7s and 8s (A’s and A*’s) in my essays but my downfall may be the exam conditions. Either way we will find out after the mocks but I am confident with this one.

History is definitely my back up subject, I also want to consider government and politics as I am interested in more political history like Nazi Germany and the Cold Wad which I am studying at GCSE at the moment. I find the studying the Tudors I struggled to remember things and it’s the same with the medicine unit. Unfortunately my mock is on both Elizabeth I and Medicine.

I might go further into what it is like doing exams at a grammar school and the pressure to do well in another post. This is a small insight.

Now on Monday we had a day dedicated to just how to revise and some of it was really interesting but it did not need to be spread over the whole day. We learnt about flash cards and types of note taking which was genuinely helpful and I have now been using Cornell for science. This whole day did seem a bit late coming though due to us already having sat our RE exam last year and it been a month away from the mocks.

I think my main problem is that I know that they are a practice but I can’t stand the though of disappointing people. If I failed a mock my teacher may feel like they failed me. I can’t deal with that.

Anyways I have been using a mood tracker app for my mental health and needless to say the results have been very similar each day. Hopefully by the end of mocks it will improve due to having the Christmas holidays off.

-B

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